Balancing Artist Life — Encouragement

So much of this time has been spent in my head. Not in an overly obsessive way, but more envisioning my future, daydreaming of adventures, and imagining a life where we live through more of them quite regularly. Reprioritizing wellness, and for honesty's sake, quite possibly planning a lengthy escape from Ontario's borders.

I used to be bad energy. Dramatics happened all around me, and all the time. Not only did I create it, I sucked it up, and then mirrored the miserable. When I found creativity, when that re-entered my adult life, things began to even out, as a new perspective was always being found. Design time is alone time, and I’ve realized that’s exactly what I’ve needed.

Growing up I didn't value myself. I wasn't exactly taught, literally or demonstratively, and I really didn't know how. Flipping through my film roll of life experiences this morning, it's evident. In my memories many and various types of interactions I had through to my 20^th year, took even more of that value away. Like a bank account being depleted, I dreamed of better, but didn't realize that I was actually deserving. Wow eh.

I’m someone who has always had difficulty putting myself out there. For 64 days, since November 1st, I’ve done exactly that. Shown up + showcased. 

My Husband had emergency spinal surgery at the end of October, mid covid. I lost my brain for a couple days. I was messy. I over thought and worst case scenarioed while he was in the hospital, and for a few days when he was back. Non functional really.

I think that break down was my build up.

As a new month begins, and with todays time change, there becomes a thought in my mind that the days will never be any longer, and our time truly is limited.

Let your influence be positive. Show your love, acceptance, and admiration daily. There are things that matter, and then those that don't - lets not confuse the two.