So much of this time has been spent in my head. Not in an overly obsessive way, but more envisioning my future, daydreaming of adventures, and imagining a life where we live through more of them quite regularly. Reprioritizing wellness, and for honesty's sake, quite possibly planning a lengthy escape from Ontario's borders.
I used to be bad energy. Dramatics happened all around me, and all the time. Not only did I create it, I sucked it up, and then mirrored the miserable. When I found creativity, when that re-entered my adult life, things began to even out, as a new perspective was always being found. Design time is alone time, and I’ve realized that’s exactly what I’ve needed.
After joining FemCity in the summer of 2019 I was thoroughly impressed, cause this is what I needed in my life. Connection. Two months in I was completely sold, and opted for the lifetime membership. I am a proud member of the Hamilton, Ontario chapter. *waves* Feel free to use my referral link for a decent sign-up price.
Growing up I didn't value myself. I wasn't exactly taught, literally or demonstratively, and I really didn't know how. Flipping through my film roll of life experiences this morning, it's evident. In my memories many and various types of interactions I had through to my 20th year, took even more of that value away. Like a bank account being depleted, I dreamed of better, but didn't realize that I was actually deserving. Wow eh.
I’m someone who has always had difficulty putting myself out there. For 64 days, since November 1st, I’ve done exactly that. Shown up + showcased.
My Husband had emergency spinal surgery at the end of October, mid covid. I lost my brain for a couple days. I was messy. I over thought and worst case scenarioed while he was in the hospital, and for a few days when he was back. Non functional really.